I am.

I am ashamed that I don't love spending time with friends.

I am embarrassed that I can't seem to find God's joy.

I am tired of feeling ridged and defenseless.

I am terrified that I will always feel this emotionally unstable.

I am furious that I feel tired all day, but can't sleep at night.

I am destroyed realizing how excruciating emptiness is.

I am so unhappy that when I actually enjoy something I panic.

I stand there and think of how odd and unfamiliar a true smile is.

I am different now than I was before. I'll never be the old me again. And maybe that's ok.